I Roll My Eyes When People Talk About “Self-Care”
I’ve had a lot of interesting conversations about self-care lately.
A lot of people are feeling like they don’t have time or it can’t be a priority right now because everything else feels more pressing.
Look, I roll my eyes when I hear “self-care.”
But, I also know if we do nothing to ground and care for our bodies and minds, they will eventually do it for us. We’ll get sick. We’ll get a migraine (hello, me last week). We’ll face exhaustion.
I know multiple people who tested negative for COVID-19, but had aligned symptoms - fatigue, headache, muscle weakness, shortness of breath.
Guess what?
It was unmanaged stress and anxiety.
If we don’t care for our bodies, they will create symptoms so we have to.
Let’s think about one thing you can do each day to care for yourself. Here are a few ideas that take 10 minutes or less:
Go for a brisk walk around the block (5 minutes)
Do 4-7-8 breathing for four rounds (2 minutes)
Listen to this song (it triggers relaxation in your central nervous system) (8 minutes)
Do a tapping meditation (7-10 minutes)
Sit outside (5 minutes)
90-second hug with your partner
This is a great opportunity to ask your partner for what you need.
You can say something like, “Babe, I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately - I know you probably have been too. I think it would help me feel calmer if I could take just 10 minutes each day to do a little self-care. Can we pick a time that you watch the kids so I can do this?”
Or you can say, “Meredith sent this email about self-care and I feel like it’s really important that we start focusing a bit more energy here. She says it will make us calmer and more patient. Would you want to each pick a 10 minute block each day where we can do this?”
I would love to see you choose just one thing off the list above and commit to doing it every day for the next 7 days. Ask your partner for the support you need to be able to do this and invite them to take time to do the same.
By the way, tonight, Wednesday, April 29th at 8pm EST I’m facilitating a free online workshop with Sarah Harmon, LMHC, called, The Powerful Partner Pause. We’re going to be covering the specific steps couples need to follow to prevent arguments from escalating and to calm our minds and bodies when our partners trigger us. If you’d like to join us (live or get the replay), register here: Sign-Up for The Powerful Partner Pause