So, You Don't Spend Enough Quality Time Together

This topic is probably primed for philosophical debate.

But, I’d argue it til the end.

Perception is everything in relationships.

Everything.

Not, most things.

Not, really important.

Everything.

Couples get stuck in cycles of conflict and poor communication when they expect to, regardless of what each partners’ intentions are.

If you expect your partner to be invalidating, you will see them as invalidating. If you expect your partner to get angry when you bring up a concern, you will see them as angry.

Seeing your partner (and being seen by them) through a positive lens is powerful.

It affords you the benefit of the doubt, so you have the opportunity to share more information before your partner jumps to conclusions. It gives you space to make missteps and not be perfect, without a 3-day fight.

It also allows you to expect good from your partner. You can expect to feel supported, understood, and valued. You can expect respect, quality time, and affection.

Should something happen that feels unsupportive, not understanding, or disrespectful, you’ll gently question your partner’s intentions rather than fly off the handle with 100% certainty that they meant what they said.

Do you know how to create this positive lens?

It’s created by feeling close to your partner, spending time together consistently, and sharing positive moments. John Gottman, Ph.D. calls these “rituals of connection.”

(Things that, right now, I suspect have fallen to the wayside for you and your partner).

If you’ve found yourselves stuck in a negative place lately, you’re not alone.

Our current circumstances lend themselves to that. You don’t, however, have to stay there. There are simple ways to move into a more connected, secure place (in 30 minutes or less a day).

This is why I created the Feel Closer to Your Partner in 7 Days Coaching Program. If you’re interested in learning more, check it out here: LEARN MORE