If you’ve been around for a bit, you’re probably familiar with rituals of connection. These are small, positive interactions you have with your partner on a consistent basis. They build the foundation for good feelings, offering benefit of the doubt, and seeing your partner through rose-colored glasses.

Rituals of connection are powerful.

But, if microrejections are happening, their effectiveness is going to be reduced. The deposits they’re making in the emotional bank account are going to be chipped away.

Microrejections are tiny moments of turning away from one another.

Let’s talk about what doesn’t work.

I’m sure you have already tried everything to feel closer to your partner again.

You’ve tried asking your partner why they don’t want to spend time with you, but they say, “I do,” and nothing ever changes.

You’ve tried waiting for them to make the first move and invite you to watch a show together or join you for a cup of coffee in the morning, but they don’t.

You act angry and withdrawn to show your partner that something is clearly bothering you. You hope they’ll realize and take some action, but nothing happens.