Blog
It’s Time to Feel More Loved
Now that you have a deeper understanding of the emotional bank account and how a low balance may be playing out in your relationship, you can do something to change it.
To make change happen, you’ve got to be willing to do things differently. This means communicating differently, reacting to one another differently, and managing your emotions differently. You’ve got to be open to feedback about the ways each of you contribute to the negative cycle as it currently stands. It may feel uncomfortable or even awkward when you first start this process, but that feeling is temporary.
How Friendship + Intimacy Break Down
Let’s go more in depth on the emotional bank account. We know that when the ratio is skewed towards the negative we can feel misunderstood and frustrated in our relationship. But, what happens if the balance remains low over time?
Friendship breaks down. Emotional intimacy breaks down. Physical intimacy breaks down.
It’s like a domino effect, as one leads to the next.
The Real Reason You’re Not Feeling Good in Your Relationship
When couples are struggling, they identify the same few causes. “It’s our communication,” they say. “We just can’t talk about anything without it turning into an argument.” Or they identify an issue with conflict resolution. “We never resolve anything. It just gets brushed under the rug and then comes back again a few weeks or months later.”
When things aren’t feeling good in our relationship, there’s often some distance between us and our partner that we’re not able to bridge.